I never thought this day would come...

I filed my dissertation today! That means I officially became a doctor of philosophy. :)

It was a busy and stressful week leading up to getting ready to file. Last night, my dear friend Felicia generously accompanied and helped me print and copy six versions of my dissertation--all 245 pages of it. Here we are after hours in the English department's copy room:

all six copies completed and ready to go

I was sort of in a daze all night. Felicia kept telling me how happy she was for me, but all I could respond is that I felt tired and numb, not really registering the moment. How could I register the culmination of 8 years of grad school and five years of writing in one moment? I was exhausted mentally and physically from writing so intensely these past three months. And also, to be quite honest, the "T" in me was a little reluctant to "feel" too much; I was afraid that all the emotions would be too overwhelming. Then at night, I started to reflect a little bit about the journey of these long years of writing. Poor Byron: I rambled a bit at night right before we went to sleep, and then, early this morning, woke him up (I couldn't sleep) to process my jumbled thoughts even more.

My reflections weren't very profound--the thought that kept coming to mind over and over was just how hard writing the dissertation was. There were so many dark moments, moments when I honestly could not see the light at the end of the tunnel and had no idea whether I could ever finish. In fact, it wasn't until the beginning of August where I could say, for the first time in five years, that I could see the end in sight. The only thing that kept me going during those dark times was the certainty that this journey is where I am supposed to be. I had to remind myself often of how I got into grad school and the sureness I felt then that this opportunity to attend my dream school was a gift from God; holding onto that surety, and not wanting to miss out on the blessing of completing the journey, was the primary reason I held on, even when there were years when so little progress was made in my writing. And as I dwelled upon those many times of despair and darkness, I just felt overcome by gratitude and amazement at God's faithfulness. He did bring me through this journey, as he promised. He fought for me, provided me with the bootcamp and writing group, gave me strength and grace to finish writing even during the first trimester of pregnancy! I am so in awe of his goodness.

Later in the morning, Byron came with me to the registrar to document the filing process:

me turning in all the forms required for filing

three copies of my dissertation, stacked together

she's stamping the official approval from the university

The moment has finally come. It is sweet and joyful and amazing. I'm Dr. Wang, finally! :)