another encouragement from my friend j, who is full of wisdom and halfway around the world:

st. john of the cross has a thought that, I think, speaks to the trouble of your past year. he writes: “if the work you must perform becomes difficult and disagreeable to you, do not become discouraged, for this will not always be so. God, who proves the soul by a precept under the guise of a trial, will after a time accord it the experience of its own blessing and gain.” i hope and pray that the latter – i.e. “the experience of blessing and gain” – comes to you soon. may it be a christmas present for you from the newborn baby Jesus.
yours,
j

amen, Lord Jesus.