quick update
We're leaving for LA in the morning...
The past two weeks have been filled with interview preparation--I've practiced talking about my project several times a week, created *five* brand-new syllabi of courses I would like to teach, reviewed the major literary movements and historical moments in British Lit since the Medieval period, and also went through several "crises" of doubt, fear, anxiety, sadness, and finally, calm.
I've had to remind myself almost every day: "I am not in control, God is." "Put your faith in God, and not in your preparation." "I trust in God's goodness and sovereignty, no matter how it all turns out."
In the midst of the worries, there have been elations as well--the delight in reviewing literary masterpieces I had forgotten about, rereading cherished poems and essays (Keats, Chaucer, Dryden), remembering why I want to do this in the first place. I really do love literature and I want to teach it; am excited to introduce students to sonnets and novels and blank verse and so many other wonderful things.
It's been a tough time, struggling to claim God's promises but also giving into my human weaknesses. Remembering how abundant and large his grace is, even greater than my failures. A time of worrying about the future and what it may bring--Will we be in Tennessee, New York, or Boston next year; or will it be more of the same? At the end of this job search, there could very well be nothing; which, quite frankly, sounds pretty good to me right now. I'm too scared to move away!
But I'm jumping ahead. Tomorrow we head down to LA--to a time of family and celebration, of joyful and thankful remembrance--and that's all that I want to think about until I'm in Chicago on the 26th!
The past two weeks have been filled with interview preparation--I've practiced talking about my project several times a week, created *five* brand-new syllabi of courses I would like to teach, reviewed the major literary movements and historical moments in British Lit since the Medieval period, and also went through several "crises" of doubt, fear, anxiety, sadness, and finally, calm.
I've had to remind myself almost every day: "I am not in control, God is." "Put your faith in God, and not in your preparation." "I trust in God's goodness and sovereignty, no matter how it all turns out."
In the midst of the worries, there have been elations as well--the delight in reviewing literary masterpieces I had forgotten about, rereading cherished poems and essays (Keats, Chaucer, Dryden), remembering why I want to do this in the first place. I really do love literature and I want to teach it; am excited to introduce students to sonnets and novels and blank verse and so many other wonderful things.
It's been a tough time, struggling to claim God's promises but also giving into my human weaknesses. Remembering how abundant and large his grace is, even greater than my failures. A time of worrying about the future and what it may bring--Will we be in Tennessee, New York, or Boston next year; or will it be more of the same? At the end of this job search, there could very well be nothing; which, quite frankly, sounds pretty good to me right now. I'm too scared to move away!
But I'm jumping ahead. Tomorrow we head down to LA--to a time of family and celebration, of joyful and thankful remembrance--and that's all that I want to think about until I'm in Chicago on the 26th!
posted by mariyaya | 12:55 AM
2 Comments:
do well in Chicago! k and i are looking forward to seeing you guys in january!
Hey Maria, I am so excited that God is opening so many doors for you. I am excited for you that you are being challenged spiritually. It's tough to not know your next step, but it is definitely rewarding. Keep up the faith!
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