chicago

(warning: long update!)

We've been back in NorCal since Wednesday and I've been sick since last Sunday. :( It feels like an eternity has passed since the time I last blogged. So much traveling, new experiences, meeting up with old friends, excitement, the prospect of a new life and seeing a glimpse of what it might look like--and now all of a sudden we are back to where we started, back to the regular routine, and probably will be back to the familiar for a little while longer. It's disjointing and strange and disorienting all at the same time.

Before I explain some of the cryptic phrases above, let me start with Christmas, which was a real blur in LA. We spent only three days down there, mostly with my family. My dad was out of town speaking at a conference, so it was just my mom, Joyce, Byron, me, and our family friend, Ray, who is visiting from Taiwan. We watched movies, shopped a little, visited NewSong Irvine on Sunday, went to my uncle's house on Christmas eve, and had lots of great chats about life, ministry, and other topics. Ray has just finished an almost-five-year missions journey around the world, so he had many things to share with us.

my uncle, aunt, cousins, and us

At NewSong Irvine, there was a really timely sermon (for me) on waiting upon God to fulfill some promise or dream in your life. I don't remember all of the points, but two really stuck out for me: the first was about trusting in the fatherhood of God and the second was about embracing the "mystery" of waiting. I think this is something that God has been speaking to me a lot about in 2007, about how to wait upon him vs. just merely waiting for time to pass. The speaker reminded us that when we wait upon God, we don't focus on the result (i.e., when and whether it will come to pass) but rather we embrace the process and trust in God as our loving, gracious father.

This second point was very key for me, especially as Byron and I headed out to Chicago at the crack of dawn the day after Christmas for my MLA interviews. I don't even know how to describe MLA...it was three days of craziness. Three days of hotel lobbies filled with nervous and tense people in black suits, all reviewing their notes, pacing, ipods plugged in, waiting to go in for their interview. So worried about how their future career depended on the next thirty or forty minutes. It sounds overly dramatic, but that's actually the reality for academia. The job market is tough, brutal. The fact is, there are too few spots and too many qualified candidates. The entire process is just insane because there is so much randomness and so many things out of your control.

Thankfully, I was able to escape most of the madness by hiding out in our hotel room and having my wonderfully supportive hubby remind me of God's truth and also help me practice my interview techniques. He is the best coach ever. We spent hours going over my dissertation description, working on answers to questions, and practicing giving individual summaries of my chapters. It was hard work, but really helpful. I had been practicing pretty much each day already in LA, but working with Byron the two days before my first interview really gave me an extra push.

It snowed on the day of my first interview! Here is a peek from outside our hotel window. It was soooo cold there. Byron got sick on the second day. I took a taxi everywhere, even though it only took 5 minutes to walk between hotels. We also had some famous Chicago pizza delivered to us...


As for the interviews themselves, I had three total. Overall I think they went pretty well, and I was pleased with my performance, considering this is my first time on the job market. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be, and actually felt rather peaceful and calm. In fact, five minutes right before I walked through the door for my first interview, I actually was excited. I couldn't believe I was here at MLA and that people are interested in hearing about my work! The other truth that really brought me peace was reminding myself that I am God's child first and foremost, and that his presence goes in with me. I had nothing to prove, nothing to hide, nothing to lose (from Family retreat). Knowing these truths actually freed me to try to minister and reach out to my fellow classmates, who were stressed out. I realized that trusting in God's provision and fatherhood meant that I could release the eventual outcome to his good and perfect will. What a blessing that is! My responsibility is just to be faithful and do my best.

My interviews were done by Saturday, and on Sunday I woke up with a massive sinus infection and cold. We met up that afternoon with my childhood friends (CEF second generation), who were having a reunion in Chicago (the second reason why we were there). All of our parents worked for CEF (the Taiwan equivalent of InterVarsity), and so we've known each other since we've been in diapers. We try to have a reunion every five years: to share, pray, catch up, and have fun! We spent that afternoon at the Natural History museum, where Joyce and I saw a fabulous exhibit on Darwin and how he came up with the theory of evolution. Having just come from an atmosphere where I was thinking, talking, and breathing the 19th century, it was particularly exciting for me look at that exhibit.

beautiful, snowy walk to the car afterwards

Here is our CEF 2nd generation crew that was able to make it. Half are married. Some couldn't come because they are expecting their first or second child. We spent most of Monday sharing. It was so neat to hear about what each person has been up to in the past five years and how God has been moving in their lives. Our sharing times were intense, honest, and sweet fellowship.

Esther and Dale (the two holding the kids) graciously hosted the 10 of us at their home. Much of the time was spent playing with their adorable children, Lydia and Kyle.

Byron and I were completely smitten by Lydia. What a sweet-natured, sociable, and smart little girl! I miss her so much already. And to give you just a small glimpse of her fun personality, here is a video of her and Byron bouncing on our air mattress.



As for the results of the interview, I heard from two schools already (my top two choices) that I didn't make it to their shortlist for campus interviews. I was a little disappointed, but also felt a sense of peace when I found out. I trust in God's goodness and sovereignty. I consider my job market experience a success, even though I didn't get a job. I've learned so much already in this process, and am incredibly thankful to even have had any interviews (a big accomplishment, as my advisers constantly reminded me). In addition, going through the preparation for interviews actually re-energized me about my dissertation project and for being a professor. It confirmed that this is indeed the profession I want to pursue; now I need to wait upon God to lead me there in his timing.

There are still two more schools that need to get back to me about campus visits, but at this point, I would rather not get them. I'm not very interested in those schools, and am ready to close this exciting and intense period for now, and focus on finishing my dissertation. And then onto the job market again in the fall! So it looks like we'll be around in the Bay area for another year...